Sound the Bugle

I've done myself in and I don't know where to go. Is this the end? The closing credits, armageddon? That's how it feels. I'm without a part of my heart.

Lots of things happened to cause it, and I could blame them on other people. I could say it was just a silly misunderstanding, but that would be lying. The very thing that I did to screw myself over. I could apologize, but what good would that do?

It's my own fault, and I know that. In time, that stabbing pain will fade to a dull throb, but it will never leave. No, and I will always have a seering hole that will continue to grow. A solemn reminder that I could do nothing about it.

I feel empty, emotionless. I can't even cry. I probably wouldn't bleed either. And I'm cold. So cold.

I fear this is it.

Sound the bugle now
Play it just for me
As the seasons change
Remember how I used to be

Now I can't go on
I can't even start
I've got nothing left
Just and empty heart

I'm a soldier
Wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me
Lead me away
Or leave me lying here

Sound the bugle now
Tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know
That leads to anywhere

Without a light
I fear that I will stumble in the dark
Lay right down
Decide not to go on

This is my anthem now more than ever. It's the song that leaves nothing to be desired of me and what I've become. I'll feel this way forever and forever I'll be in a million pieces. Part of me is gone. and it will never be replaced.

I must wear a mask, however. I shall not place my burden on others. It's only mine to bear, and that is part of the punishment. I stand alone.

I will forever be dying inside.

Forever.